Random Thoughts

Rant... #333: ISSUES

2/04/2009 01:57:00 PMBriana Latrise

Val, u told me u love my drunken rants... today I'm going to try a sober one.
I really, really, really could use some serious herbage in my life like now... but since i have none... I'm going to write a stupid- long blog entry of updates for my non-existent friends to read... hmmm..

And Imma try to make it to Spliff Fri.... but it's hella shit goin down this weekend... mainly: WORK

Latest Dream:::::::::
I fell in love last night with Charles Hamilton. I'm currently tryin to O.D. on him. He has completely f*ed me up. I love him. I'm serious! Name ANYONE that respects good music enough to renew and certify it's value!
Fuck. Words cannot describe what I feel about this man but for dramatic effect let's just say: I want to eat him. I need him in my blood stream... ha. Yes.

{I'm serious. This is so soo sooooooo much more real than when Kanye broke down on his last album... oh and on that note:
I'm mad at Kanye. Well, I'm really mad at myself for allowing Kanye to almost touch me inside. (stay out the gutter perv... leave that to me.) I thought he was genuine with his pain and distress. I thought he would and could own up to his music. Or maybe I was just high as fuck and fell in lust with our emo similarities. I'M OVER IT NOW! I'm trynna stay off the mainstream. It'll kill u.}

Currently listening to:::::::
Duh. Charles H. Non-Stop since Monday evening. I occasionally allow Drake in the mix every now and then... and if I'm feeling really low: a Trey Songz joint. As much as I can't stand him... I'm a closet Songzer. Hmmmmm.... Drake is def talented too. Big Ups to him. I care not for a few of his associates but hey... Not everyone can be as awesomely awesome as me... or as corny- wait... that's not it. They can be corny. "Sticky Face" Tre? Really? (And ur name deserves no y. it's TRE fool.)

Charles, Charlie, Chuck.... I see u.


Sanity Status::::::
I have finally accepted it.
I'm a nut. Just like Mom. It happens. But as I have been saying for many moons now:

oh... and I def might have more than 2 personalities... I can't tell whether its like drug induced, or due to sleep depravation and the whole starving/vitamin deficiency thing.

Moving on::::::::::
I'm also going thru this weird creative juice spill... like all of my juices have to decided to fill up the paint cup... Photos... dry season buddies. Don't ask me for the shoot... I can't do it right now. I love photography obviously... but there are so many things I need to get out of my system and photography just isn't helping that right now. Capturing moments are boring me these days... and creating them.... ?????

um... other not-so-new general status updates...

I'm broke.

I'm hungry.

This starving artist shit is not cute anymore.

Oh! I did get a few modeling gig offers (not enough $$$$ to look stupid tho... sorry. I'm broke but not desperate.)

People keep askin me if they can paint my face.... I don't think they understand what that feels like. It's not actually flattering to me- at all. I feel like a freak & I'm off the leash these days... Seriously.
"I would looooooove to paint your face! your freckles are beautiful!" That's fabulous. But I didn't ask u and u have now drawn extra attention my way. Now these people in the public are looking at me funny. Thank You. Thank You very much. Because you know, I'm not high as fuck trynna blend in wit the rest of the drones and slaves.

Please note: I dress down for a reason. Yep.

Sometimes, I really think I was less paranoid, more functional, and even more coherent on the drugs. I def had more confidence. Hmmmm.

Fuck it...

{{{{{{OH!!! U know what I will take pictures of!!!! C.H.: My sugar cane}}}}}}}}}}} CR@KK!!!!
Charles Hamilton! I promise I been on u buddy. Since a certain A&R played me some of ur stuff many moons ago and told me u were a problem because u sample too much. Don't trip tho. I defended ya. I happen to like the samples. I just didn't know u were this damn deep. We should take a night dip together somewhere secluded and exchange no audible words until the sun peeks over mountains and trees... dig? ?????????!

Art Updates:

Adventures in BrianaLand?
Oil, Pastel, & Acrylic on Canvas

"Pork: The Other White Meat"
Oil on Canvas

"Leisure the Flying Lotus"
Oil on Canvas

"Home: Where the Heart Is"
Oil on Canvas

I still need herbage... to offset the constant high due to the highly toxic, 24 hr turpentine inhalation thing I got goin over here. Feel free at anytime to donate a living space or ya know currency... for the Wild Life Fund!.

...maybe I should shower now. I smell funny.

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