Random...

6/09/2010 09:06:00 PMBriana Latrise

Life is crazy. Ups and downs... all kinds of crazy...


Love.

Love is all you need. I get it now. Ladies, I have said it before but I feel the need to say it again: YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOU! When you do that, you'll be able to see the bullshit before you. I promise.

That being said::: I feel I need to share some things with you all. For those of you who don't know me... I have had a long, long, long, extensive drug history. It was so bad that the last time I went to juvenile hall, they pulled out a file so thick the dude booking me almost cried. The file was full of nothing but three day mandatory detoxes and what not. All that aside, I cannot say that I have been sober since, but after a 7 year meth binge, I'm doing very, very well. I haven't touched that stuff and I refuse to. It was my drug of choice. However, it's a lot harder to refuse the occasional ecstasy pill, or line of cocaine, a whole lot harder. I'm telling you all this to get back to my main point: LOVE.

Recently, I was minding my own drunken business outside of a "Drake" after party, waiting for Drake to get off the bus so my boys could get an interview. While doing so, I ran into this guy. He was kinda cute but I could not have cared less. I thought he was a promoter so I spoke to him and asked what was good. Once he clarified the situation, I turned away, but he asked me for my number. To be honest, I have no idea why I gave it to him but I did.

For the next week or so, I ignored his calls and texts like I do everyone else who gets my number on "accident"... lol. One day, I "accidentally" answered and it changed everything.

We recently had a random little episode where I apparently said and maybe even did some things that he really wasn't really feeling. He told me that I need to be a lady and that he was telling me this because he wants to be with me but he can't if I'm not worth being with. I told my aunt what he said and she says he cares about me. That's dope.

Then... I f*ed up and did some things I shouldn't have done... things I stopped doing years ago but old friends often bring back old habits when you let them... I felt guilty so I told on myself while professing my love for him... lol. I'm surprised he still wants me honestly... but he does. He just tells me to be strong and stuff... positive reinforcement. As long as he doesn't change too much we should be good. Cause the second he gets to callin me stupid or something... smh... it's all bad.

I was not at all looking for this man, and no here he is. Occupying the time I would spend doing stupidness, helping me stay focused, and trying to help me become a better woman. Literally.

(I covered his face and tattoos to respect his privacy... and to ensure a future. As soon as the hoes find out how good it is... they start flocking... I WILL KILL A BIYOTCH over this one. I really, really dig him... lol)

I started to doubt him. Like, he might be out with his boys and I get a little paranoid that he's not telling me everything or that he's not telling me ANYTHING true... but that's all in my own head. He hasn't even given me a reason to think of him that way. I have to stop bringing my past relationships into my new one. I found someone worth being with, without even looking and I'm damn near chasing him away because the last boyfriends weren't worth shit. That's not at all fair to him so I have to work on me before I lose him. I thank God that he is patient with me. Seriously! He really is understanding. Smh. Thank You!

ANYWAY: You gotta believe in love... but it starts with you... In you.





Side note::: Jim Jones' "More Than A Hustler" is absolute trash! [LINK]


ONE MORE SIDE NOTE: 8,000$ for a Tyga walk through????? NEVEEEEEEEER!!! I don't even give a shit about Tyga. I really just want Chris Brown to come to my party but I only know how to get a hold of Tyga who I probably wouldn't give 8.00$ to appear. SMH... Sorry that bit just crossed my mind. This is random Tequila blabbery. <--- I made that word up. You love it.

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